Festive Food in the City: The Top 15 Mince Pies in London

Happy 2023, old beans. Today we are changing our name to Mince Pies in the City. Yes, in the interests of furthering society I have decided to bring you all the latest mince pie news from around the capital, just as we consign the last of the little buggers to the back of the cupboard and start mainlining kale to dilute a season of gluttony (I meant to upload this post before Xmas but I got distracted by a candle arch. Still, it’s never too early to start planning for next Christmas. You’ll be well prepared if the nukes don’t land beforehand).

Christmas In The City: A Turkey & Tinsel Tour Of London – Part III

Happy Yule logs, folks. It’s the third and final part of our Xmas charabanc trip through London. I’ve covered a lot of ground, eaten a lot of foil-wrapped M&S chocolate coins, and taken a lot of pictures on zebra crossings whilst bemused drivers considered running me over for holding up traffic. Grinches would say that it wasn’t worth it; that I would have been better off sitting in my mum’s living room in my dressing gown watching ‘The Great Sprouty Fart-Off’. Well, firstly, I’m a fearless explorer, so a bit of cold weather that turns your hands blood red and your fingernails blue isn’t going to stop me. Secondly, my mother has a prepayment electricity meter that displays how much leccie is being used throughout the day, and let me tell you; you are never happier to leave a house then when you’ve seen £11 disappear in the space of seven hours through tumble drying four pillow cases and warming a chicken pot pie in the oven.

Christmas In The City: A Turkey & Tinsel Tour Of London – Part II

Merry Festivus, folks. So, you thought Part I of this yuletide London tour was epic? Well, that was only the start. My mum has knitted me a brand new woolly scarf to shield me from the elements, so it would be a shame to stay indoors watching an adaptation of ‘A Christmas Carol’ where Jim Carrey plays The Ghost of Christmas Present as a drunk Ringo Starr and Fred is a CGI Colin Firth with a chin shaped like an arse (they won’t tell you that on Rotten Tomatoes).  I promised you Christmas in the city, so without further ado, I give you Turkey & Tinsel Two: Christmas Boogaloo!

Christmas In The City: A Turkey & Tinsel Tour Of London – Part I

Mele Kalikimaka, Feliz Navidad, Merry Christmas Everyone, and other festive song titles to you! Yep, it’s time to bulk buy Cadbury’s Heroes and financially cripple ourselves as we wave goodbye to 2022 and embrace the new forms of misery 2023 will bring. Too cynical? Perhaps, but then I remember 2022 promising the earth and delivering it to us in the form of dirt, so apologies for my Scrooge-like pessimism. As for me… well, I live in the best city in the world and I’m expecting to find a pair of M&S Percy Pig pyjamas under my tree, so I’m not going to grumble too much. I spent £9.25 on a tiny dish of pigs in blankets in Fortnum & Mason, so my quibbles regarding the cost of living at this point could only serve as the plot to ‘First World Problems: The Movie’, so I’ll keep complaints about the rising cost of Cathedral City cheese to myself and buy all my wrapping paper from Poundland to compensate (I would have done that anyway. Poundland is the one-stop shop for all my bow, bag, and tag needs. Plus, Paperchase doesn’t stock Toffifee).

Afternoon Tea Review: The Galley At Sketch – Mayfair

G’day, folks. A shorter post today, but don’t let the lack of paragraphs fool you. This is one of the best. I was able to tick ‘Afternoon tea at Sketch’ off my ‘Teas To Taste With Bankruptcy Nigh’ bucket list during the halcyon days of 2021, back when we could still afford to eat and didn’t need an overdraft to boil the kettle. Sadly, being the sort of blogger who writes better in their head and is often distracted by shiny objects, I put writing about this experience on the backburner where it simmered to the point of evaporation. Almost. Whilst recently sorting through photographs on my phone, I realised that this was an experience too good to remain forever trapped in The Cloud.

Scones Away From Home: A Glorious Glutton’s Guide to Brighton & The Royal Pavilion

Where do Londoners go when they temporarily tire of being Londoners? That’s a tricky one. We want a break from the business, but still require stimulus. We crave sea air and unobstructed views, but still need our daily fix of bubble tea and Quinoa (it’s our life juice). What’s a city dweller to do? The answer: London-by-the-Sea. Yes, I’m sure the proud residents of Brighton and Hove would bulk at my glib declaration that their East Sussex gem was considered by prats like me to be the thirty-third London borough, but to me that is the ultimate compliment. I adore it.