Afternoon Tea Review: London Landmarks, Town House, South Kensington + A Tantalising Tour of Tower Bridge

Hello again, folks. Today we are indulging the London Landmarks tea at the Town House, Kensington. As the name suggests, this is a themed tea commemorating the landmarks that make up London’s Iconic skyline. Actually, they don’t commemorate them exactly. If we were to accurately portray them as they have been the last few years Big Ben would be surrounded by Twiglets representing scaffolding and the phone box would be decorated with cards of naked women with a river of pee dribbling from the bottom. Personally, I’d have preferred something a bit more obscure. The Whitgift Center, Croydon, carved out of marzipan, perhaps. The Vagina Museum, Camden, sculpted from an avocado with the pit removed etc. But that would attract a pretty niche market of one, so here we are, eating a praline Gerkin and living it large

Afternoon Tea Review: The Diamond Jubilee Tea Salon, Fortnum & Mason + Hard Rock Café Vault Tour – Piccadilly

Happy 2022, teaholics! Do I have the perfect post to kickstart the new year. I’ve enjoyed many a afternoon tea and will continue to do so till I am forced to take a sideline gig on OnlyFans dedicated to knee porn, but I suspect that this is the peak of my tea-drinking dalliances. This is the afternoon tea by which all other teas will be judged. It’s Fortnum’s, folks, and it’s a showstopper

Oh, You Little Teas! Attendant café review – Fitzrovia

Happy Sunday, folks. Warm, isn’t it? Not a time to be sitting on a leather sofa without your pants on, and the kind of day that turns a cold fruit smoothie into a hot herbal tisane in thirty seconds flat. Still, we can’t let a little thing like sunstroke stop the fun. And oh, what larks there have been! I was planning an entirely different post for today but I wanted to share this gem before the heat lulled me to sleep on the Central Line

Afternoon Tea review: The Oxo Tower Restaurant, Bar & Brasserie – Southbank

Greetings, folks. It’s time to start spending money again. As this is the first afternoon tea taken since February 2020 – a carefree time when you didn’t have to evacuate a building whenever someone sneezed – I’ve chosen to visit the OXO Tower Restaurant, hoping to ease back onto the high-octane world of eating small things and pretending they constitute a meal